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Calhoun Old Timey Bank Offers All The Banking Tech Of The Late 1800s

Updated: Jun 18


CALIFORNIA – In an industry moving towards faster payments at the fingertips of consumers, Eustace P. Calhoun is on a mission to shake banking up. He is going retro with his bank, Calhoun Old Timey Bank.

With a curled mustache and a gold watch chained to his black vest, Calhoun looks the part. Sitting tall in a high back chair pulled up to a large mahogany desk with a banker's lamp, he explains his bank's unique position.

"I see where the banks are going. I'm just going the other way. My bank is taking things simple. No confusion or risk of fraud at all! We need to get back to the good old days of banking when a dollar bill meant something. And all this technology? We don’t have computers…heck, we don’t even have calculators. Scratch paper and registers are all you need to run a financial outfit like this. You’ll see!"

Calhoun was not a banker by trade. Prior to launching the bank, he was a wild west amusement park manager and Western movie aficionado. One day, while covering for an employee at the amusement parks fake bank, he overheard a teenager comment how lame the old bank was. At that moment, he knew that he had to take banking back to the days of stagecoaches, six shooters, Sarsaparilla, and pocket watches.

"We've got promissory notes, greenbacks, and more stamps than we know what to do with. Paper cash volume is rather low after bandits robbed us, but we have some coins. People like coins, right?"

So far since opening its doors six months ago, COTB has only attracted a niche group of customers.

George Wade is a Union Civil War reenactor whose long mustache is only rivaled by the Colt M1860 Army revolver he wears on his hip holster. He banks with COTB because he can visit them in his full uniform without receiving strange looks. The hitching post is also helpful when parking his horse Bullet.

Clara Brown is another one of COTBs customers. She claims to have traveled in time from the year 1885. The banking is just one way to relate to her past. That is, when she and her husband Emmet stay in the 2020’s.

That's it. Two customers.

"It's a start. Once we get the stagecoach set to transport cash back and forth, we really expect to shake the industry. Who needs them new electric payments? We can use the telegraph to wire funds. And cards? Here's a card...my business card."

For those not interested in traveling back in time, banking has continued to progress in technology and the customer experience and protection measures surrounding it. Digital banking offers consumers financial freedom at their fingertips. If, however, you want to experience banking in the times of the wild west, Calhoun Old Timey Bank is just right for you.



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