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CashFly's Drone ATM

All Eyes in The Sky for Fintech CashFly’s Drone ATM


[DISCLAIMER: THIS IS SATIRE]

ALASKA – As consumers are looking for ways of avoiding banks and public facing ATMs, a new company is on the rise to take the cash withdrawal industry by storm. Alaska based fintech CashFly is creating a fleet of mobile ‘Drone ATMs’ to service those in hard-to-reach places.

“A few years ago, I was out hiking in the wilderness and thought to myself, what if I needed cash,” states founder and CEO Jack Montana. “The idea came to me that if I could somehow fly the cash in, I would be alright. When I got back from my trip I went to work and came up with CashFly. This is sure to be a great idea.”

The service combines ATM and drone technology to deliver cash through a seamless application based on the location on a customer’s mobile device. Once the CashFly Drone arrives, the cash withdrawal process is the same as any other machine.

While those looking for cash in hard places to reach are waiting for the fleet of drones to roll out, investors are scrambling to invest in the new company.

“There is no downside to this,” says stock expert Wallis Strete. “This IPO will soar higher than the drones will. Limitless possibilities.”

Not everyone is as optimistic about the offering though. Those in the tech world are wondering what scheme(s) could send the drones directly into the hands of criminals. While the market goes wild for CashFly, experts are working diligently to see what highly sophisticated attacks are in store for the drones.

[WEEKS LATER]

Shotgun Sales Soar as CashFly Stock and Drones Fall

ALASKA – Just weeks after a successful IPO and pleased customers received their first cash withdrawals, both CashFly’s stock as well as its drones are crashing.

While the market had high hopes for this high-flying service, cyber experts warned of the risks of the drones and their cash being diverted to other locations by cybercriminals. However, what actually took place was far simpler than anyone anticipated. Despite CashFly’s investment in cyber security, another risk was not anticipated.

“I was flying the drone across a farmer’s cornfield in Iowa when it happened,” explains former CashFly drone pilot Caleb Anderson. “And then it just lost control and came crashing down. The next thing I knew, I had lost visual.”

What Caleb didn’t realize at the time was that the farmer also took to the skies; with the birdshot from his 12-gauge shotgun. Once the report of this spread, CashFly experienced more and more of these instances occurring. In just a few weeks the fleet was cut in half.

The effects of down drones also dropped CashFly’s stock price, falling from $938.73 per share down to $1.01 per share. With no way to combat the target practice of their drones, things look bleak for CashFly.

Meanwhile, shotgun maker Baxter Arms Co. saw a nearly 50% jump in sales. And their new slogan of “defend your homes and claim your cash” may be a big reason. A starter shotgun from the company costs $245 while the cash in a CashFly ATM drone is around $10,000.

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