Family Banned From Board Games After Monopoly Game Ends in Fraud
[DISCLAIMER: THIS IS SATIRICAL]
OKLAHOMA – A judge ruled that an Oklahoma family must relinquish possession of their Monopoly board game after members engaged in deceptive and fraudulent activity during a Friday game night.
The fraud started when, during a Bagel Bites snack break, 12-year-old Monopoly banker Maria made a deal with 14-year-old Blake to provide additional ‘GO’ money in exchange for him to ignore buying certain properties. Maria then replicated the deal with 16-year-old Sarah.
Meanwhile, parents Jake and Melissa made their own shady arrangements because they “were sick and tired of the kids always winning through cheating.”
Nearly five hours into the game the various schemes began to come to light. Maria had built up her properties and looked unstoppable. About to be eliminated from the game, Blake came clean about their dealing, outing his sister as a cheat. When mother and father attempted to lecture the two about cheating, Sarah jumped in and accused her parents of colluding. Tensions rose, leading to verbal altercations which woke the neighbors, who contacted the police.
“This one got pretty bad,” states responding police officer Don Utley. “Lots of screaming, hurt feelings, and downright fraudulent nastiness. I felt bad for the family. They clearly have some issues they need to work out.”
In addition to board game restrictions, the entire family has been ordered to go to counseling and is restricted from purchasing any more games involving real estate or finances.