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Imaginary Fake Mulch Businesses Run Rampant At Daycare


Once a month my wife and I drop our two boys off at a daycare and head to the best Cajun restaurant in Cincinnati. [For those interested, check out Swampwater Grill and make sure to get the chargrilled oysters, blackened Mahi Mahi, and the jambalaya]. It is a chance to relax without kids, get a drink and a good meal, and walk through the adjoining antique mall to find oddities. Over the years it has become one of our things.

While our date night goes on, our boys are enjoying (or enduring) their time at daycare. A lot depends on the day and the mood of the little guys prior to going. The daycare has different theme nights for their date night evening hours. Sometimes that means a movie, other times it means bringing in some form of entertainment. Now that we are in summer months, their time includes going outside for recess time.

I've not seen the playground area they use in the back of the facility, but what has been described to me is a variety of play structures, a small open area for running, and mulch...lots and lots of mulch. So much mulch that the children have been instructed not to mess with it. So what do they do? They mess with it.

Before I go any further I want to emphasize that the daycare we take the kids to is fully staffed by caring individuals. The children have toys to play with and crafts and games to do. There are also dinner and snack times. So before you start thinking that I am sending my boys to a place where all they can play with is mulch, think again. This is not Crunchem Hall Primary School. The little one's fascination with the mulch is similar to having a whole room for toys and all your kid wants is a cardboard box. On a positive note, that kid may be using more imagination with that box than many of the toys they have.

Back to the mulch. The children are told not to mess with it (probably for a lot of good reasons). This has created the rise of imaginary fake mulch businesses. That has led to mulch being hoarded or traded. They store it in plastic cones. The shredded wood is currency and contraband.

Enter Imaginary Fake Mulch Business Investigator Ben. Ben is eight years old and ready to take on all fake businesses. In his first few dealings with them he discovered the illicit mulching operations and went to the authorities to have them shutdown. He basically just ratted them out to the daycare workers, but that sounds less impressive. During a ride home from the daycare this led to a discussion on what shell companies are.

"I have to shut them down!" he exclaimed. Since starting his campaign against the imaginary businesses, he has 'shut down' five. According to him, there are still many more that have to be dealt with. The mulch savings to the daycare must be incalculable at this point.

As Fraud Fighters, we do have an impact on our children. Both of my boys are aware of what I do, and it comes through in conversation and in their play. I myself am a second generation Fraud Fighter. Growing up I would listen to stories from my father, who investigated insurance fraud. Most of his time was spent conducting background checks, but occasionally he'd tell a story of a surveillance case. I found those much more interesting. I'm not sure if working against fraud extends to a third generation, but it will certainly have an impact. In the meantime, there are more imaginary fake mulch businesses for Ben to shutdown once a month.

What impact do you see with your kids given your professions?




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