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Guardians Lack Of Multi-Factor Authentication Results In Ship Being Stolen Due To Groot Passcode


SPACE – The scrappy crew of The Benatar were in for a rude awakening when they found their spaceship stolen. While stopping for some food five jumps from Terra, Peter Quill and his group known as Guardians of the Galaxy had their M-class ship taken by space bandits.

“We go in for some food one minute and the next it was gone,” Quill states. “I had no clue what was going on. We’ve been through a lot as a team, but this will be a tough one to get through.”


The ship, yet to be recovered, had a single point of authentication, voice passcode. This may not have been an issue, except for that a particular member of the team with a limited vocabulary could only choose one phrase for their code.


“I am Groot,” explains Groot, a tree-like creature similar to an Ent. “I am Groot, I am Groot. I…am…Groot.” For those who do not speak Groot, the thieves voice recorded Groot while in conversation with the other Guardians. Once the crew went into the space restaurant, the bandits just walked up to the ship, played the recording, entered the ship, and took off.


“The Guardians should have used multi-factor authentication (MFA),” states a Vlod, a galactic fraud expert. “Their one line of defense easily failed with the tree thing only being able to say his name. Multi-factor authentication would have required multiple pieces of evidence to allow for access to the ship. If they had combined the voice code with something like a retinal scan or fingerprint, their ship would still be in their possession. It would have made it much harder for a bandit to steal the ship. I am really surprised that an M-class ship did not have more security measures.”


The future of the crew remains somewhat uncertain without a ship. While the authorities are attempting to retrieve the vehicle, it was discovered that Rocket Raccoon failed to submit the ships information to the Guardian’s insurance agency, Marvelous Insurance Co.


“Insurance?! Yeah, that was Quill’s job… Hey Quill, you’re supposed to be the captain of this ship. What gives [EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE]? You should have done it.”


“It was your job. And don’t call me a [EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE]!”


“I am Groot!”


“Groot, how can you take his side? You’re the reason why the ship was stolen in the first place!”


While the so-called Guardians of the Galaxy squabble about their insurance dilemma and try to get a ship, what is clear is that MFA will be added to their spacecrafts in the future.

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