A few years ago I came up with a bedtime story series for my boys about a pug that got into all kinds of trouble (and was constantly eating excessive amounts of food). For this blog I am repurposing Pugalicious Superstar McMillan to highlight scams. I'm not expecting this to be turned into a children's book series (though it would be really cool to see this illustrated).
Pugalicious Superstar McMillan Tries To Buy A Commercial Grade Deep Fryer Online
Pugalicious Superstar McMillan was a plump Pug who enjoyed chimichangas. The deep-fried tortillas filled with chicken and topped with liquid cheese really hit the spot alongside some fresh tortilla chips (also fried). When he wasn't eating, Pugalicious was often dreaming about food.
Most of Pugalicious' favorite foods were deep fried. While this may seem unhealthy, it really didn't affect the dog because he was a fictional character. The point was that items placed in the hot golden liquid (oil) were immediately gobbled up by the Pug.
One day Pugalicious was lounging at his house thinking about his next meal (it had been eleven minutes since his last one, so he was starting to get hungry).
"I could really go for a chimichanga," he said out loud, to no one in particular. "But I can't go out to eat every single time I want one. I wonder if I could make one." He thought about it. Ingredients weren't hard to find. A recipe could also be scrounged up easily. But the chimis needed crispiness to be great. And that, Pugalicious thought, would require a fryer.
The gluttonous dog could have purchased a small fryer that would have worked for a single chimichanga, but he quickly convinced himself that he needed to go big. It wasn't a question of money or space. Pugalicious was loaded with cash after investing early in cryptocurrency. Pugcoin had taken off, making Pugalicious a very wealthy pup.
"There is no greater fryer than a Larden Chicken Blaster 4000," read Pugalicious while looking up online reviews. "Okay, I'll go for that one."
Many of the new models he found would take weeks to arrive. If he went used, he thought, he could just go pick it up. Within moments, he was looking up pre-owned fryers on Pug-face Marketspace.
"Whoa!" He stared in wonder at a used Larden Chicken Blaster 4000. It looked just like a new one. This one was only $10,000. A new one could easily go for $25,000. This was a great deal. It was almost too good to be true, Pugalicious thought.
He messaged the seller, asking when he could pick it up. The seller seemed to also be in a hurry as well, requesting the money upfront. The seller also had a hard time answering some of the questions.
"Actually, I'm selling it for a friend," he later said. "I'm just the middleman."
"Can you at least tell me what restaurant it came from?" Pugalicious was disappointed to hear that the person didn't know this. This bugged the bug-eyed pug. More questions didn’t provide any answers.
They exchanged a few additional details, including where to send the money to. This wasn't the transaction Pugalicious had been expecting. It just didn't add up. Pugalicious picked up the phone to call his girldogfriend Brenda Beagle the banker.
"Brenda!"
"Hey Pugalicious! What's up? Did you break your record of eating 45 chicken wings while upside down?" Brenda was very supportive of Pugalicious Superstar McMillan's talent to eat a ton of food.
"No, it isn't that. I'm looking at buying a fryer. The person I'm dealing with does not seem to know much about it. It is a good price, but something isn't right."
"Pugalicious, did you find this fryer for sale on that Pug-face Marketspace?" Pugalicious relayed that he had. "Remember what I told you about that platform? Most of the stuff is a scam!"
It now made sense to the Pug. He thanked Brenda Beagle and they chatted briefly to establish their next date (they decided on sushi).
There would be no fryer that day for Pugalicious Superstar McMillan. That would be okay, he thought. He would eventually get one and fry everything. This reminded him that he was hungry. And that reminded him the chicken chimichangas don't eat themselves (though he couldn't blame them if they did).
Within 20 minutes, the Pug and his friend ZL1 Camaro were at their favorite Mexican restaurant, El Perro Hambriento, munching on fresh chips and waiting for the chimis to come to their table. The scammer had failed thanks to the Pug asking questions.
"Pass the hot sauce please," said Pugalicious Superstar McMillan.
"Vroom vroom," said ZL1, which meant 'here you are.'